Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Today...
...I realised going out and getting completely obliterated is completely pointless and just not fun. I will continue to do it.
Facebook Groups for Dead People.
Facebook groups made in memory of someone who has died are fine. Death is quite sad, and in this day and age a digital obituary is probably fitting.
Then you read the posts made by people.
Some are what you'd expect, 'Blah was lovely, they will be missed' etc. While others are completely fucking unbelievable:
'Hey ****, this is just to let you know how much I miss you. I think about you everyday and I know you're there looking over me. It's hard but I hope you get this and smile about it.'
'What's it like up there with God?'
'miss u sooo mcuh, cant w8 2 c u agen!!'
Do people really think you can communicate with the dead through facebook?
Logically, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I can't imagine you get high-speed internet six feet under and even if there was, it wouldn't be much use to a decomposing corpse.
Also, it doesn't make sense if you're a deluded fool (i.e. a believer): I highly doubt that you can log-in to facebook in heaven. There's far too much poking and pro Gay Rights groups going on for God's liking, and adding the opposite sex as a friend is probably not allowed according to the Old Testament. And if in hell you got to spend eternity on everyone's favourite social networking site you'd get people raping goats and sacrificing virgins all over the shop.
So why the fuck do people do it?
Then you read the posts made by people.
Some are what you'd expect, 'Blah was lovely, they will be missed' etc. While others are completely fucking unbelievable:
'Hey ****, this is just to let you know how much I miss you. I think about you everyday and I know you're there looking over me. It's hard but I hope you get this and smile about it.'
'What's it like up there with God?'
'miss u sooo mcuh, cant w8 2 c u agen!!'
Do people really think you can communicate with the dead through facebook?
Logically, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I can't imagine you get high-speed internet six feet under and even if there was, it wouldn't be much use to a decomposing corpse.
Also, it doesn't make sense if you're a deluded fool (i.e. a believer): I highly doubt that you can log-in to facebook in heaven. There's far too much poking and pro Gay Rights groups going on for God's liking, and adding the opposite sex as a friend is probably not allowed according to the Old Testament. And if in hell you got to spend eternity on everyone's favourite social networking site you'd get people raping goats and sacrificing virgins all over the shop.
So why the fuck do people do it?
Books People Like.
Here is a list of books that people read, then act as if reading them makes them highly intellectual/somehow non-conformist/worth talking to. Included are some typical quotes that these imbeciles insist on repeating:
'The Catcher in the Rye' by J.D. Salinger - 'Oh My God! I love this book, I can so relate to Holden! I felt exactly the same as he did when i was growing up!!'
Comment: Everyone has read this book. Everyone thought they felt like him when they were 13. Grow up and read a different book.
'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac - 'I read this book and it was like I was set free. I realised I don't have to conform to the expectations of society. It just made me want to leave it all behind, know what I mean, man?' or 'Let's go on a road trip and take drugs!!!!'
Comment: Do you really take this shit seriously? Those dreads say you do, as does your choice in entertainment (namely psytrance raves) but seriously? This is the 21st century, not the 40s/50s. Being 'different' is completely normal and dull, you're not anything special and no one gives a shit about your 'alternative lifestyle'. Except maybe the man who owns the stall that you buy your hemp clothing from.
'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath - (People who read this don't say anything, such is their torment)
Comment: Well done, you're depressed and angsty. That was easy wasn't it.
'Crime and Punishment' by Fyodor Dostoevsky - 'I just admire the portrayal of Raskolnikov's struggle to somehow justify the murder he committed using a moral argument, when deep down both he and the reader know he did it for personal gain' or 'the nihilistic attitude in turn of the century Russia is certainly apparent'
Comment: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_and_Punishment. Admit It. I did it too.
'Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)' by George Orwell - 'This book is just terrifying! Can you imagine being watched all the time and having your thoughts monitored? It really makes me glad I don't live in the Soviet Union!' or 'Living in England nowadays is like being in 1984, its terrible!'
Comment: Nice little political view thrown in there. They are clearly highly intelligent for regurgitating a cliched comparison to a work of literature, let's discuss the collapse of personal freedoms in and increasingly policed state with them...
'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde - '(Something homo)'
Comment: Oscar Wilde was cool until he got completely over-quoted by pseudo-intellectual photography students/complete fucking idiots on MySpace and Facebook. Despite his quotability he is not a very good writer, this book is massively overrated. Sorry all you homosexuals, but just 'cause someone is gay doesn't mean what they write is automatically good. It's distinctly average in this case. Fags.
'The Catcher in the Rye' by J.D. Salinger - 'Oh My God! I love this book, I can so relate to Holden! I felt exactly the same as he did when i was growing up!!'
Comment: Everyone has read this book. Everyone thought they felt like him when they were 13. Grow up and read a different book.
'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac - 'I read this book and it was like I was set free. I realised I don't have to conform to the expectations of society. It just made me want to leave it all behind, know what I mean, man?' or 'Let's go on a road trip and take drugs!!!!'
Comment: Do you really take this shit seriously? Those dreads say you do, as does your choice in entertainment (namely psytrance raves) but seriously? This is the 21st century, not the 40s/50s. Being 'different' is completely normal and dull, you're not anything special and no one gives a shit about your 'alternative lifestyle'. Except maybe the man who owns the stall that you buy your hemp clothing from.
'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath - (People who read this don't say anything, such is their torment)
Comment: Well done, you're depressed and angsty. That was easy wasn't it.
'Crime and Punishment' by Fyodor Dostoevsky - 'I just admire the portrayal of Raskolnikov's struggle to somehow justify the murder he committed using a moral argument, when deep down both he and the reader know he did it for personal gain' or 'the nihilistic attitude in turn of the century Russia is certainly apparent'
Comment: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_and_Punishment. Admit It. I did it too.
'Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)' by George Orwell - 'This book is just terrifying! Can you imagine being watched all the time and having your thoughts monitored? It really makes me glad I don't live in the Soviet Union!' or 'Living in England nowadays is like being in 1984, its terrible!'
Comment: Nice little political view thrown in there. They are clearly highly intelligent for regurgitating a cliched comparison to a work of literature, let's discuss the collapse of personal freedoms in and increasingly policed state with them...
'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde - '(Something homo)'
Comment: Oscar Wilde was cool until he got completely over-quoted by pseudo-intellectual photography students/complete fucking idiots on MySpace and Facebook. Despite his quotability he is not a very good writer, this book is massively overrated. Sorry all you homosexuals, but just 'cause someone is gay doesn't mean what they write is automatically good. It's distinctly average in this case. Fags.
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